Last weekend, I could finally share the wonderful news that my big sister is expecting a baby and that I am going to be an auntie. I simply can’t wait to meet my little niece or nephew come the autumn! I’ve already started looking at all things baby related, completely taken by this teeny tiny world of cute outfits, soft toys (mostly bunnies) and adorable keepsakes.
Alongside this, two of my friends welcomed a little girl the week before; another friend announced she is with bump; and my bestie from uni is also expecting a baby this summer. Babies are all around, it would seem.
Despite being over the moon for each and every one of my friends and my sister too – I have been wondering though, do I feel like I’m missing out?
And truthfully, the answer is, no.
I’ve never thought to myself, ‘I want to have children’ – even when I was in a long-term relationship with my ex. I’ve never felt broody or had any maternal desires whatsoever. I thought these feelings might emerge as soon as I hit 30 but here I am, about to turn 35 – and still waiting…
To be honest, I’ve been perfectly content with leading my independent, do-what-I-want-when-I-want, spend-my-money-on-little-luxuries-and-trips-away lifestyle. To some, I may sound selfish. And I guess that’s true, to an extent. But I don’t think that makes my life ‘wrong’ or any less complete.
I believe there’s still an assumption that as a woman, I should expect to settle down and have a family at some point in the future. How many times have I heard the line, once you meet the right guy, your feelings will change? But what if they don’t? What then?
As someone in her mid-30s and single, I’m pragmatic about the fact that I may never have any children – even if I want to.
It goes without saying that the first hurdle is finding Mr Right. And even if I meet this elusive figure – I would want us to spend a good few years together, just the two of us, before even contemplating a family. So realistically, I could be pushing on 40 before I’m in a position to consider a baby; when my fertility could present a very real problem.
Of course, life is never how you play it out in your head but like most people, I like to consider all possibilities. So for me, having my own family might just never happen.
But you know what? At the moment, I’m okay with that.
I’ll always be an auntie and that’s one role I’m very much looking forward to and something I think I’ll find extremely fulfilling, whether my own maternal instinct decides to kick in or not.
What’s your thoughts on having children? Do you think it’s something women are still expected to do? Can your life be just as fulfilling without a family? Share your thoughts below…
Until next time,